Being a parent is tough work. You want to do this the right way. And you want to help your child become the brightest version of themselves, both today and in the years to come. A large part of helping children become confident in themselves and their abilities is helping them learn to communicate in effective ways. And not only about the simple stuff, but the big things, too. You want your kiddo to feel confident in saying “no” and respecting their boundaries.
You want your child to be able to communicate their boundaries in the future. So, why not start practicing now? Having challenging conversations can be uncomfortable. Plus, saying “no” to people in positions of authority can be sticky, both as a child and an adult. So, why not practice these scenarios with your kids while they’re young? Work on giving them the skills to stand firm in their needs and beliefs today. By doing so, they can do so with confidence in the future.
Teaching About Boundaries
The best way to teach about boundaries is to explain what they are, then, most important, show them. Our children will never understand how to say no or hold a firm boundary if they don’t see mom or dad doing it. So, what are your boundaries? Can you install a boundary with a boss or coworker about time spent working at home? Or can you practice saying “no” to family members who add more to your plate than you can handle? Check out some areas of your life where you could have better boundaries in place. Then, practice. And let your children observe and ask questions if they arise.
Respecting Your Child’s Boundaries
Talking About Consent
Has your family discussed consent yet? The thought can be a little scary. Especially since we usually think of consent as referring to sexual interactions. But, consent should be brought into all aspects of our children’s lives. Instead of assuming your kiddo wants help with a task, ask them first. Give them the autonomy to accept or deny help. Or, your may child has a playdate, but doesn’t feel like going today. Give them the choice to say no and cancel plans if it means listening to and honoring their needs for alone time.
Identifying Your Child’s Boundaries
To be able to respect your kids’ boundaries, you first have to know what they are. Try talking to your child about what may be boundaries for them. Explain that each person has unique boundaries that they must be respected. And, these boundaries can change at any time.
Touch on the different types of boundaries they could have:
- Emotional
- Time
- Intellectual
- Material
- Physical
- And sexual
Think about some of the things that bother your kiddo. Do they get frustrated when a sibling or friend uses a toy without their permission? A material boundary about getting permission before sharing may help your child. On a different note, the next time you need to tell your child something important, you may try asking “can we talk about something important?” Then, allow them to opt-in or request a different time to talk. Your kiddo may also not like hugs, holding hands, or being pushed on the swing. These are instances in which consent can be practiced and asked for, too.
Listening to Your Child’s Boundaries
The responsibility to honor your child’s boundaries is on you. Take the time and practice to listen and respect your kiddos’ needs. Showing them that people who care for them are going to respect their boundaries is monumental. It is a vital support in helping children learn healthy relationship dynamics. Setting boundary expectations in relationships now will make great impact years later.
Your child may also not have the words to communicate boundaries. That’s okay!
As their caregiver, you likely have inclinations about what they need and when. These tells can come from body language, other nonverbal communication, or play. This can be a time and place to point out a potential boundary to your child. Questions like “You seem overwhelmed, would you like to be alone for 5 minutes?” or “I know it’s hard to share toys without friends asking first. How can we be more kind about telling them this in the future?” So, start exploring boundaries with your child. Doing so will help them gain the words and confidence to better understand their needs.
As their caregiver or parent, respecting those boundaries is going to be challenging. You may have to cancel a playdate and disappoint one of your mom’s friends. Or there may be a time when a tantrum becomes too escalated and you have to leave an event you were looking forward to. Your child may need one on one time, but you don’t have the energy today. As parents, you’re already doing so much for yourself and your family. But, showing your child that you hear them and respect their needs will strengthen your relationship. It will also help them build a healthy attachment style and understand boundaries with people outside of the family, too.
Child Counseling Can Help With Boundaries, Too
Your kiddo’s needs and desires will shift throughout childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Let’s make a point to be more in tune with our kids’ needs. This means asking them and listening to understand, instead of assuming. In doing this, you’ll create a solid foundation for healthy communication with your child. Here at our Roswell, GA-based therapy practice, we know these conversations are hard.The child therapists at our practice have years of experience working with children.
Our team has worked with children for a multitude of reasons. Your child may have experienced trauma or is going through a major transition. Or, they’re acting out at school or daycare and you need some support in helping them feel better. Our therapists understand the importance of listening to children and their needs.
We know the importance of boundaries and establishing healthy communication early in life. If you’re interested in creating a healthy foundation for your child or helping them heal from past or current troubles, our child therapists can help. We can help you, your child, and your family have the hard conversations that matter. Then, you’ll be able to move forward with confidence.
Begin Working With a Child Therapist in Roswell, GA
Setting healthy boundaries is much easier said than done. Our team of therapists understands this, and we would love to offer support. We have improved the lives of countless families across the state via online therapy and in-person services. A child therapist can offer support from our Roswell, GA-based therapy practice. To start your therapy journey, please follow these steps:
-
Meet with a caring therapist
-
Start creating boundaries with your child
Other Services Offered with Wellview Counseling
Child counseling isn’t the only service offered at our Roswell, GA-based practice. Our team also offers anxiety treatment, depression counseling, trauma and PTSD treatment, chronic illness counseling, and therapy for postpartum anxiety and depression. Other mental health services include individual counseling, teen counseling, and young adult counseling. Learn more about our social groups for kids, and online therapy services today. Or, feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information!