Help! I Don't Like My Teen's Boyfriend/Girlfriend - Blog

“I don’t like my teen’s boyfriend/girlfriend.”

This is a common dilemma many parents have as their teen begins to date. In fact, our therapists hear about it all the time in teen counseling. Issues with your teen’s boyfriend or girlfriend can cause distress in your home. So, today I wanted to share some ways you can navigate this potential conflict. Our goal is to help reduce conflict, improve communication, and build trust with your teen.

Let’s put it out there, teen dating is wild

A teen texts on her phone while working on homework in her room. A teen therapist in Roswell, GA can help you and your teen connect after difficult conversations. Contact us toady to learn about teen counseling in Roswel, GA. Counseling for teens could offer the support you need!

It is full of drama and frustration. As a parent, not liking your teen’s significant other can put you in a very tough spot. Teenagerhood is a time where adolescents crave independence and autonomy. So, they don’t usually respond well when you tell them to stop seeing the person they like or may even love. Often, conflicting views can lead to serious arguments. Ones that leave both you and your child feeling emotionally distraught. If you’ve decided to click and read this blog, you might want some advice on what to do, right? Let’s get right into it!

First, consider the repercussions of addressing this issue

Ask yourself, is it actually worth it? Remember, this is the time in your child’s life where they’re figuring out what they do or don’t want in a romantic partner. As a result, they may choose some doozies before finding someone who is a good fit for them. They may be dating this person, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be with them forever. We all know individuals who married their high school sweetheart. But, this isn’t the norm. Also, not seeing what your teen sees in their partner doesn’t mean that this person is bad for your teen. Their boyfriend or girlfriend may have a hard time getting to know new people. Especially new adults. Or, they might be dealing with things in their life that you’re unaware of.

In this situation, it may not be worth it to address the issue with your child. Allow your child some time to come to their own conclusions about their romantic partner. Try to avoid imposing your views on them. Furthermore, try asking your teen what is special about their significant other. Try to see this person through your teen’s eyes. You may be surprised what your teen decides to discuss if they have a non-judgemental space to be open and vulnerable.

What if it isn’t so simple?

A teen appears upset as she is comforted by her mother. This could represent a hard conversation that teen therapists in Atlanta, GA might be able support through teen counseling. Contact us to learn more about counseling for teens today!

What if you truly believe your child’s significant other poses a threat to their wellbeing? For example, what if your teen’s boyfriend or girlfriend was a known drug user. They may pose a threat to your child’s sobriety and safety. In this case, the risk of not saying something is likely greater than upsetting your child.

If you find yourself in this situation, know that talking to your teen about your concerns will likely upset them. But, in the end, it’s what’s necessary to keep them safe and healthy.

There are ways you protect your relationship with your teen during this hard conversation:

Approach your teen when you’re calm. If they sense you’re emotionally escalated, they will likely shut down immediately and the whole conversation will go poorly.
Ask them to share with you what they like about their boyfriend/girlfriend. Be open and respectful while they talk. Their opinions are valid too.
Describe the facts. For example, your boyfriend/girlfriend has a history of using drugs and alcohol. Do not make judgemental statements like you’re too young to know better.
Explain how this makes you feel. Example: I feel worried for your health and safety when you’re with them.
Assert control and tell them what you need them to do. Example: I want you to stop seeing them.
Remind them why: Their unsafe choices put you at risk, so dating them is not an option.
Reinforce your love for them and your desire to protect them. Reminding them that you’re always here to listen and support them is important.
Explain the consequences if they do not respect your rules.
Allow them to express their feelings, even you don’t like what they have to say. Remember, they may need time to process what you’ve said.

Last, remember that they may not listen to you

Teenagers can be very stubborn. If this is the case and your teen disobeys your rules and expectations. Hold firm and issue an appropriate consequence. Keep these proportionate to the offense. For example “you chose to continue seeing your girlfriend after our conversation. Thus, you are now grounded. I know this is upsetting, but my directions were clear.”

Teen counseling can help

If you are struggling to communicate with your teen then our team of therapists can help. We offer a variety of therapy options to help you through these tough situations. Additionally, if you feel like your teen’s behavior is putting them at risk, then they may benefit from teen counseling. We offer in-person counseling at our Roswell, GA office. We also provide online teen counseling in Georgia to accommodate our clients.

Begin Teen Counseling in Roswell, GA

If you’re interested in teen counseling and live in the state of Georgia, our therapists would be honored to speak with you about the many ways we can help your family and your teen thrive. To begin counseling in Roswell, GA, or online therapy in Georgia, follow these steps:

Contact our Atlanta, GA-based counseling practice
Meet with a caring therapist
Start teen counseling and connect with your teen

Other Services Offered at Wellview Counseling

Teen counseling isn’t the only service offered at our Atlanta, GA-based counseling practice. We offer many services to help your teen or family on their journey. Other services offered include PTSD and trauma treatment, play therapy, child counseling, individual counseling, social skills groups for kids, therapy for postpartum anxiety and depression, trauma and PTSD treatment, chronic illness counseling, family therapy, and positive discipline parent education classes. We also offer online therapy for anyone living in Georgia to help meet your needs. Contact our Atlanta area mental health clinic to learn more about the many ways the counselors at Wellview Counseling can help!