Self esteem can be a difficult thing to manage as a young adult. It seems like everywhere you look, there are people telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, how you should look, and what should be important to you. This constant stream of outside opinions can make it hard to figure out who you are and what you want in life. It can also contribute to a lack of confidence and low self esteem. In this blog post, we will discuss how you can improve your self esteem as a young adult. We will also talk through the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and why it is so important to “let go” of other people’s opinions.
Insecurity and Not Feeling Good Enough
One of the most common self esteem issues that young adults experience is feeling like they are not good enough. As humans, we all compare ourselves to others. And often we find that we don’t “measure up” in some way, whether it’s intelligence, appearance, or social media followers. These thoughts can result in young adults feeling insecure, inadequate, or even worthless. Often these feelings can lead to social anxiety as well, which makes it challenging to put yourself out there. It can be really easy to get caught up in these negative thoughts, but it’s important that you recognize that your thoughts are not facts!
CBT: The Relationship Between Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors
CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, is a type of therapy that helps us understand the relationship between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The CBT triangle shows how our thoughts can influence our feelings, which in turn affects our behavior. For example, if we have a thought that we are socially awkward it might make us feel insecure or anxious. This can lead to us avoiding social situations or engaging in negative self-talk. As you can imagine, avoiding social situations will make it harder to meet people. Then, you may interpret that as proof that you’re socially awkward. When in reality, you never gave yourself the chance to prove otherwise. CBT can help us identify these patterns and learn how to change our thoughts in order to change our feelings and behaviors.
Building Self Confidence
Speak Kindly to Yourself
CBT teaches us that the first step to improving our self esteem is recognizing that our thoughts are not facts. Just because you have a thought, doesn’t mean it’s true! Once you start to recognize the thoughts that are causing you to feel bad about yourself, you can begin to challenge them. For example if you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough,” try to counter it with a more realistic thought. Mantras like “I’m doing my best” or “I’m doing better than I was before and that matters” are a good place to start.
Remind Yourself of Your Accomplishments
It might also be helpful to keep a list of your accomplishments and positive qualities handy, so that you can refer to it when you’re feeling down about yourself. Make a list of things you’re proud of, both big and small. You might include things such as “I helped a friend through a tough time” or “I am really proud of that project I completed”. These accomplishments can help you feel more confident in yourself and your abilities.
Think About Your Values
When you find yourself having thoughts of self-comparison or insecurity, another helpful tip is to take a step back and reassess your values. Are you valuing things that are truly important to you, or are you getting caught up in what society tells you is important? For example, do you really value always wearing the latest trends or having a high follower count on social media? If not, then why are you telling yourself that you’re “not enough” for not meeting those expectations? Take some time to think about what you really value and what your goals for yourself are. Maybe you value kindness, creativity, or originality. Once you figure out what is truly important to you, it will be easier to let go of comparisons and focus on our own journey.
Improving Self Esteem by Letting Go of Other People’s Opinions
One of the best things we can do for our self esteem is to let go of what other people think. This doesn’t mean that we should become self-centered or start ignoring the needs of others. Rather, it means that we should focus on our own values and priorities. Try thinking about it this way, other people’s opinions are none of your business. You’ve probably judged someone before. You may have thought their music taste was bad or that their outfit was silly. But, that’s simply your perspective based on your own taste. It’s the same situation when others people’s opinions don’t align with yours.
Remember, the opinions of others should not dictate how we live our lives. It won’t always be easy, but when we let go about what other people think we are free to be our authentic selves.
These are just a few tips for improving your self esteem as a young adult. It’s important to remember that everyone is different and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. However, by working on our thoughts and behaviors, we can all learn to love ourselves a little bit more.
Begin Self Esteem Counseling in Roswell, GA to Become More Confident
If you are struggling with your self esteem, counseling can be a great resource. Our counselors can help you identify the thoughts and behaviors that are contributing to your low self esteem. They can also provide support and guidance as you work on making changes to improve your self esteem and become more confident. You don’t have to continue feeling insecure or inadequate, and you certainly don’t have to fight those feelings on your own.
If you want to start building your self confidence, you can follow these simple steps:
- Contact Wellview Counseling to learn more about our services and schedule your initial appointment
- Meet with one of our experienced therapists
- Learn how to overcome your insecurity and become more confident in yourself!
Additional Services Offered at Wellview Counseling
Our therapists understand that most people are experiencing more than one mental health concern. At Wellview Counseling, we have counselors who specialize in depression along with trauma and PSTD. If you’re struggling with postpartum anxiety or depression after pregnancy, there are counselors on our team that can help. In addition to working with adults and young adults, we work with children and teens who need support as well. While we offer in person counseling at our practice in Roswell, Georgia, we can see clients from anywhere in the state through online counseling. If you have questions about how our counselors may be able to help you or your child, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
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